My throat aches, but not from sucking cock, and yellow letters on the television screen light up the room, and the violet sky envelops this viscous silence and blackens, weighted. Perhaps if I were to take a knife and slice a hole in the air above my head, black oil would gush out and coat first my face and hair and then the rest of my body, so slickly and seamlessly you wouldn’t be able to tell me apart from the rest of the stagnant night around.
And sometimes I just want to give everything up, let go of everything and everyone I know and love, just be weightless for a while or maybe even forever, wrap my mind around not whiteness or even really absence- sleep, perhaps. That moment just before you fall asleep when you involuntarily forget everything you’ve ever known and slip away untroubled to some vast psychological abyss.
If we could only speed up the process of memory fading…
If I could only forget what it felt like…to be loved…<-a foot deeper~~~~~~~~~~~~~an inch above->